5 Forms of Apple Link Bait

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Apple iPhone 4s 3rd August 2012 12:09.53pm
Image by dennoir

Everyone wants to talk about tomorrow’s iPhone 5 announcement. Why bother trying to compete?

Instead, let’s “newsjack” the iPhone 5 reveal with a fun post lampooning the most common forms of Apple link bait! Here we go:

1) Find a “Lost” iPhone/iPad Prototype

“We found this prototype iPhone in the restroom of a Palo Alto bowling alley.”

Come on! Does anybody believe these iPhones find stories anymore?

What a great way to drum up the Apple fanboys and fangirls. Meanwhile the blogger gets a lot of attention about the new product and a ton of inbound links discussing the latest Apple iPhone buzz.

2) Write a Steve Jobs Leadership Post

These are a dime a dozen. It’s so easy to wax poetic about the mighty marketing and design perfectionist’s business acumen, how can bloggers resist?

Unfortunately, it’s kind of like the boy who cried wolf. The topic has been beaten to death (no pun intended, Steve). But alas, I am sure there’s more to come!

3) Bitch About Apple

Negativity drives traffic right? And what better way to get traffic and links than bitch about Apple and all of its mean bullying techniques.

Even better tell us why your Android/Windows device is better.

Cough.

4) Discuss Apple Secrets and Rumors

These are even more common than the Jobsian leadership posts. What if the new iPhone has a window screen wiper?!??!?!? Awesome!

Secret employee manuals, new operating systems, features, iTunes policy changes, give us more rumors!

5) Gossip about Jealous Competitors!

When in doubt, blog about any of Apple’s many jealous competitors, from Facebook and Google to Samsung and Amazon.

“Grrrr,” say the competitors, “We’ll get you, yet, Apple!” The Machiavellian plots discussed on blogs are worthy of a pulp fiction contract!

What are some of your favorite Apple posts?

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  • http://www.3hatscommunications.com/blog/ Davina K. Brewer

    Other than these.. the ones that predict gloom and doom, cry disappointment when the latest iToy ‘underperforms’ because while it’s even better than the last one, it hasn’t revolutionized anything yet by adding the features to also walk the dog, text telepathically and automagically buzz spammers. And then the phone goes onto sell millions, make Apple more $$ billions – and those figures disappoint, below expectations. :)

    • geofflivingston

      Remember how many people said the iPad was doomed and how badly it was named? Ooops!

      • jeffespo

        I prefer the itampon mockups

      • http://barrettrossie.com/ Barrett Rossie

        Men will never buy it. Too similar to a feminine hygiene product.

  • http://twitter.com/dino_dogan Dino Dogan

    I am such a contrarian. If it’s mainstream I stay as far away from it as possible. New iPhone is coming out? Who knew? All my computers are Apple, I love Steve Jobs, have read his bio, have criticized their business dealings, and yet, I stay firmly away from these hullabaloos as possible. I wonder what that sez about me….hmmmm :-)

    • geofflivingston

      I am of the same type.I actually intentionally blog against mainstream topics, and it’s one of the reasons I rarely blog about, well, blogging. Yet, I own Apple. Across the board! LOL!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=714756593 Liz Scherer

    Apple? What’s Apple? ;-)

  • http://doughaslam.com doughaslam

    6. Write a blog post about Apple linkbait ;P

    • geofflivingston

      Every post I write is link bait. If it wasn’t meant for links, shares and discussion, it wouldn’t be published.

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