I liked your observation, “there’s a fine line between serving and spamming”, and have shared a similar view with my connections.

No matter what the reason for engaging in social media, a good “best practice” guideline worth remembering is, “it’s about building relationships, and offering something of value – not shameless self-promotion.”

Thanks Geoff – for defining the categories and a framework for understanding the reasons that organizations choose to leverage social media.

I have added your blog as a favorite and will share it with my followers.

- @DWestJr

I am voting with my feet and not attending the conference. Perhaps if more of us take this approach event organizers will notice. Maybe not. But at least my time and energy will not contribute to such events.

Perhaps, like everything else, those few conference organizer types who are aware of this will have to make a point of writing articles/posts about just how great their event’s mixes of men and women speakers were! This is one of those things I’m not sure we’ll see get that much better in our lifetimes, but we can start to nudge the needle for future generations of business speakers and audiences.

Thanks for taking time to start the conversation, Geoff.

Liz: I think you hit the nail on the ideal. But notice that not one man has commented, and only one man commented on the Facebook thread and none on Twitter. That tells me this issue is well entrenched in gender, and that men do not support women speaking (generally). So, I argue that until it’s a natural act, we would need to make female speakers an act of mindful intent. That being said, I’d rather see the argument framed as women joining men on stage in their rightful place rather than a battle of the genders.

Maggie, Jen, KD, Kami: I also do not solicit speaking opps, except when I have a burning need. I solicited opps when I was first launching Now Is Gone. Now I get asked all the time, and choose, which is a fortunate place to be. That being said I prefer the idea that great speakers attract opportunities rather than solicit them. Attraction vs. promotion is always more powerful in marketing and in life.

Yet the male speaking system seems to be built of promotion and proverbial chevrons on your sleeve. In my opinion, two things need to happen:

1) Conference organizers need to acknowledge how the unconscious system works, awaken, and mindfully choose another way.
2) Women who desire to speak need to acknowledge the unconscious system, and start either 1) building new systems with their own events, 2) publicly criticizing events that uphold the old way, and/or 3) start soliciting opps and play the game.

A combination of these acts by organizers and female speakers would make great progress if approached with a will towards results, and organized as a movement.

You are right about pitching. I have never pitched myself for a conference except when there was an organized call for entries. I have been fortunate that I get asked fairly regularly, but I think women could use some training in how to approach this without sounding like one of the chest beaters you so disdain.